Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

What the Traffic Will Allow Column for the weeks of August 1-15, 2005

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Let’s make one thing clear – I’m a good driver. I always wear my seatbelt. I use my blinkers to switch lanes or make turns. I don’t weave in and out of traffic. I don’t talk on the cell phone in the car. I don’t litter by throwing things out my car window. I don’t use the car pool lane when I’m not supposed to. I try to leave 2 to 3 car lengths between me and the car in front of me. All right, I do occasionally exceed the speed limit a reasonable amount, usually just to stay with the flow of traffic. I only get a traffic violation ticket when I hit a speed trap. It’s the police officer’s fault, not mine. They set up these speed traps in areas where they know people will go a little faster. It’s usually not even in an area where there are a lot of accidents. It’s entrapment! That’s what it is! Entrapment!

And so that’s how it came to pass that I (and 31 other whiners) ended up in traffic school last Tuesday…

I can’t say I didn’t have options: I could have gone to court. However it’s a misnomer thinking a case is thrown out of court if the cop who gave you the ticket doesn’t show up. Not true! All they do is postpone it and you come back again. I could have just paid the ticket. I could go to traffic school.

Ah, traffic school! What can I say? I had mixed emotions about attending. On the surface it appeared to cost more because not only was I paying for my ticket (which by the way, fines cost a small fortune compared to what they used to cost. Even those signs that say $281 minimum for car pool infractions are bogus. The minimum is now closer to $400. It would cost too much money to change all the signs, so they leave them as is. Fines range from $200 to $2000, depending on the infraction. It’s almost as expensive as filling up your car with gas…but I digress!)

As I was saying, on the surface it appeared to cost more because in addition to paying for my ticket, I had to pay to attend traffic school. But, on the other hand, if I went to school, I wouldn’t have points added to my record so my insurance rates wouldn’t go up. So from a monetary point of view, I went to school.

Comedy traffic school was not an approved alternative so I had a couple of choices. I could take the course on-line which takes about 4 hours or so. However, I would be required to take (and actually pass) a final exam in person at a specific location. Or secondly, I could go to all day traffic school where I could just show up, feign interest, not have to pass a test, and get my certificate. Ummmm? Let me see! Actually study or feign interest? Ummm?

I really feel sorry for the guys who teach these classes. The audience is in a bad mood. No sleeping is allowed. No electronic devices are allowed. No outside reading materials allowed. And no food or drink is allowed. (Drink could probably lighten the atmosphere but then there would be all those pesky DUI tickets to contend with on the way home.) Yet, Mr. Traffic Teacher was super cheerful, which can be quite irritating early in the morning. “Just bring up 3 things to my desk to register,” he said, “a photo I.D., your enrollment verification form, and a smile. If you don’t smile, I won’t register you!” This was going to be a very long day!

The students had to follow the rules. All must participate. All must be courteous. All must be on time. No foul language. Yada, yada, yada…

However, Mr. TT (not to be confused with Mr. T) did his best to lighten our load. He said, “I’ll be the most boring instructor you’ll ever have. I’ll do everything I can to get you through this lousy, rotten class.” He did have his finger on the pulse of his students! He caught our attention when he said all we had to do was just stay awake and endure the day! No tests! No quizzes! “I can do this!” I thought. And I did. I even learned a few things.

Three-fourths of the class had been to traffic school before. Mr. TT pointed out those people weren’t necessarily bad drivers, but they were unlucky. Statistics show (and this was also true in our class) over 60% have accidents or get tickets because they are running late. The majority of the rest are distracted, most by stress in their lives. And all think they have a handle on driving a 3500 pound lethal weapon….a car. I think that’s true because after all, as I said in my intro, I myself am a good driver.

I guess what I learned from traffic school is the majority of people I share the road with are distracted, in a hurry, and under stress. Perhaps it would behoove me to be more alert, manage my time better, and slow down a bit. Only when each person becomes a committee of one to make changes does he/she take ownership of his/her life. I can’t change anyone else, but I can change myself. That’s valuable information.

Couple that with the fact I learned it’s only legal to throw water, hay, and chicken feathers (just the feathers, not the whole chicken) from a moving vehicle in California….it was a most profitable day!

Be sure to visit this page often to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.