Walking in the Valley A bi-weekly column, featuring one Christian's (a)musings on life's journey by Barbara Dahlgren

Ah Yes ~ I Remember It Well Column for the weeks of June 1-15, 2006

archives |

printer-friendly version

In the musical Gigi, I love the song, I Remember It Well. One subplot is when two older, former lovers meet and recall their night of bliss. Ah, they remember it well. He says something about the time they met, where they ate, what day it was, what she wore, what the weather was like, etc. Each time she gently corrects what he says. Then he sincerely replies, “Ah, yes. I remember it well.”

Some of this might be chalked up to the “he said, she said” scenario. For my money, I’d bet the woman was right in this case. When it comes to the more romantic aspects of life, she usually is. But truthfully, both could actually remember it differently even though they were experiencing the same thing because our memories are flawed.

Recently a friend was relating a childhood incident that happened with her parents and her three siblings. “The funny thing is,” she mused, “although we were all there, we all remember it differently.”

Police officers run into this all the time. When witnesses are questioned about whom they saw do the robbery, the description many times comes out as “a short, tall, black, Caucasian with short, long, brown, blonde hair wearing blue sweatpants or a brown suit.” When witnesses are interviewed independently and agree with what others saw, then the police have something to go on.

Could you stake your life on your memory? Better think carefully before you answer. Here are a few things that can skew our memories:

1. Time can blur our memories. As a story is told time after time, it can get embellished. Sometimes what we can’t recall, we invent. After the embellishments are ingrained into our memories, we actually think it really happened that way.
   
2. Bias can alter our perspective. Such would be the case if you were going through a messy divorce. The tendency would be to only remember the bad times, not the good times.
   
3. Suggestions can become real memories to people. There is much controversy today over repressed or recovered memories. Adults have come forward claiming they were molested as children but had no recollection of it until undergoing therapy. Scientists are divided on this issue because it has been proven that false memories can be implanted through suggestions.
   
4. Sometimes we fantasize about the past. We have an inclination to think things were so much better in the “good old days.”

Such was the case when the children of Israel came out of Egypt. They had groaned for deliverance after Joseph died (Exodus 1:8, 11, 13, 14, 22; 2:23; 5:7). They were under unbearable hardships. Yet they constantly complained about the deliverance God provided. Probably through bias, time, and grumbling to one another they started to fantasize how good it had been in Egypt.

“Oh, that we were back in Egypt,” they moaned. “It would have been better if the Lord had killed us there! At least there we had plenty to eat. But now you have brought us into this desert to starve us to death (Exodus 16:1-3 NLT).” Their memories, although real to them, were inaccurate.

Possibly, these faulty memories were part of the reason they ended up wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. Later God would tell them to remember when they were slaves in Egypt (Deuteronomy 16:12). Remember that God delivered them to freedom (Deuteronomy 5:15). Remember what God did to Pharaoh and to Egypt (Deuteronomy 7:18). Remember how their constant complaining upset God (Deuteronomy 9:7). Remember how God led them through the wilderness for 40 years (Deuteronomy 8:2).

This was more than exhorting them just to remember these things. It was telling them to remember it accurately. Why? Not just for their own edification, but so they could pass it down to their children. “Be very careful never to forget what you have seen the Lord do for you. Do not let these things escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren (Deuteronomy 4:9 NLT).”

Be sure to visit this page often to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.