Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

Wearing Purple and Red Column for the week of October 3-16, 2004

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It all started when Sue Ellen Cooper bought a red hat at a thrift shop. Later she read a poem by Jenny Joseph called Warning stating all the things she would do when she got older. Things like spending her pension on brandy and satin sandals, sitting on the pavement when tired, pressing alarm bells, learning to spit, running a stick along railings, wearing slippers in the rain, etc. Among these frivolities she listed:

“When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.”

Something resonated with Sue Ellen so she gave the framed poem and a bright red hat to a friend as a birthday gift. It was so well received that she gave the same thing to many other friends. Soon, as a lark, these friends were getting together for tea in purple dresses and red hats. That was the birth of “The Red Hat Society.” Friends brought friends to the gatherings and soon chapters were being formed.

Not very impressive, you might think. Well, from that meager beginning sprang forth hundreds of chapters from coast to coast. I must admit I was ignorant about their existence until I recently flew back to the Mid West to visit family. My mom who lives in the middle of nowhere (town with a population of 2000) was thrilled at the prospect of becoming a member. Another friend’s sort of reclusive mom who lives in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico wanted to join. The airport bookstore had a book about The Red Hat Society and when I returned home I saw a local chapter on the cover of the Almaden Times.

I have since found out they’ve been featured in many national publications such as Romantic Homes, Southern Living, and Southern Lady and almost every newspaper from the Washington Post in D.C. to the San Francisco Chronicle (from sea to shining sea, you might say). They’ve had two national conventions. What a sight that must be! Scores of ladies running around town in red hats and purple dresses. Fortunately stores now offer Red Hat Society regalia which is good because it could be difficult finding this kind of outfit when you need it. After all, it’s hard enough finding your basic little black dress.

Where have I been? The red and purple movement is passing me by and I didn’t even know it existed. Some ladies refuse to go gently into the good night. They prefer to “greet middle age with verve, humor, and élan...” They believe “silliness is the comedy relief of life…we are all in it together…” And “underneath the frivolity we share a bond of affection forged by common life experiences and a genuine enthusiasm for wherever life takes us next.” (Quotes are by Sue Ellen Cooper, founder and Queen Mother of the Red Hat Society, from their official web site.) I say, “You go, girls!”

The Bible has quite a bit to say about “aging.” Older women are admonished to “live in a way that is appropriate for someone serving God (Titus 2:3).” There is a certain amount of wisdom that is expected to come with age (Job 12:12). And the “gray headed” are to be honored (Leviticus 19:32).

Speaking of graying gracefully let’s not forget, "Gray hair is a crown of splendor (Proverbs 16:31 NIV)" and “the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old (Proverbs 20:29).”

Actress Jamie Lee Curtis may be taking all those scriptures very literally. I read recently she has decided to let her hair grow out to its natural color…gray. She wants to grow older on her own terms. She even posed in her underwear for a magazine WITHOUT being airbrushed! Good for Jamie!

Sue Ellen Cooper puts it this way in her poem Ode to the Red Hat Society.

“A poet put it very well. She said when she was older,
She wouldn’t be so meek and mild. She threatened to get bolder.
She’d put a red hat on her head, and purple on her shoulder.
She’d make her life a warmer place, her golden years much golder….”

Well, I may not be ready to go publicly gray (only God and my hairdresser know for sure my actual hair color) or pose for a magazine in my underwear without airbrushing (actually posing in my underwear is definitely out…with or without airbrushing), but you can count me in for wearing a little purple and red. For me, I think it would be wise and appropriate. In fact I’m heading over to the thrift shop right now to look for a vintage, fiery fedora! Viva la purple and red!

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.