Walking in the Valley A bi-weekly column, featuring one Silicon Valley Christian's (a)musings on life's journey by Barbara Dahlgren

Praying Column for the weeks of October 1-15, 2009

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A recent Pew Forum study shows that 75 percent of Americans say they pray at least once a week.  Of course, we know most of these people aren’t praying at church, because statistics show that most don’t attend church.  However, they must believe in a higher power of some sort or why pray? 

Prayer is the topic of an article by Zev Chafets in the September 16th issue of the New York Times Magazine entitled The Right Way to Pray?  As a self proclaimed agnostic, Chafets feels there is something “up there beyond the sky.”  Maybe that’s why he often writes on religion.  However, he states that he’s never been able to pray and mean it, even on two occasions when he was close to death.  Perhaps it was self soul search that served as the catalyst for this article.  I’m not sure because as with so many modern articles, I never found a specific purpose statement.  I’m still at little hazy on what he wanted to accomplish.  Nonetheless, he felt compelled to search for the right way to pray.

Chafets explores a hodgepodge of opinions on the right way to pray.  The Brooklyn Tabernacle offers classes to master the theory and technique of prayer.  They believe someone should mentor you in the art of praying.  Rabbis and priests once felt praying in Hebrew and Latin was the only way to go, but times have changed.  They are now trying to make prayer more accessible to laity.  Some people go to retreats and chant “Christian mantras,” while others use spiritual directors to help them seek the mystery of God.  If these don’t work for you, you can always say the Kaddish prayer while standing on your head, combining yoga with prayer.

  Although not much is said about why people pray, Rabbi Gellman’s interview touched on this subject.  He said, “But really, when you come right down to it, there are only four basic prayers.  Gimme!  Thanks!  Oops!  and Wow!”   I think he may have something there.  “Gimme” is when you want something.  “Thanks” expresses gratitude.  “Oops” is for forgiveness. “Wow” is more for praise for God’s awesomeness. 

 I’m thinking the average person leans toward those “gimme” prayers, whether they want the “gimme” for themselves or others.  A group of kids in a little church in Berkley shared some thoughts on prayer with Chafets.  One prayed for a grandma who broke her leg and another for her sister’s asthma. Both were doing better.  Chafets evidently was impressed because he concluded that if he ever becomes a praying he hopes he’s like these children:  “Straight-up Gimme! on behalf of people who really need the help.”

I think one category of prayer was left out.  I call it the “your will be done” category.  The Biblical example for prayer mentions this in Matthew 6:10. “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done...” Most of us are not interested in God’s will being done unless it aligns with what we want.  Prayer should be a means to align us with God’s will and help us accept it, not the other way around.  That is so much more than acknowledging a higher power who is able to give us our every want and desire.  It involves having a relationship with God who loves us, cares for us, and will never leave or forsake us.  Through this relationship we develop trust.  We learn to trust God to do what’s best for us even though it might not be what we want.

God does not despise the small things.  He does not measure significance by size.  There can be power in small things.  A little match can cause a big fire.  A tiny acorn can produce a giant oak tree.  Little drops of water can fill an ocean.  Tiny grains of sand can make a beach.

There is a difference in praying to a nebulous higher power than to a living God who is intimately involved in your life.  75 percent of Americans may be praying, but to whom?

Be sure to visit this page often to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.