Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

What a week in San Jose! The San Jose Mercury News had its 150-year anniversary, and the saga of Leo the dog is finally over which seemed like it lasted 150 years. For the few who have never heard of Leo, he was the brichon frise that was hurled into traffic over a year ago. Sara McBurnett was driving to the San Jose International Airport when she accidentally bumped the vehicle in front of her. The driver, Andrew Douglas Burnett, jumped out of his sport utility vehicle and started shouting at her. Then in a fit of "road rage" he grabbed her small, white, fluffy dog and hurled him into traffic. Leo died and the case received more high profile coverage than would have happened if Burnett had hurled Sara, herself, into traffic and she died. Of course, if a person is willing to throw a dog into traffic, he probably is capable of doing the same to a human being. People are being stabbed, shot, and run over in fits of road rage all over the country.

Road rage is a relatively new term we were unfamiliar with 10 years ago. Although there is no national definition the Iowa Department of Transportation says it is commonly defined as "a societal condition where motorists lose their temper in reaction to a traffic disturbance." I would say it runs a little deeper than just losing one's temper. Rage in itself is defined as "violent, uncontrolled anger." Although road rage probably starts with a prolonged honk or tailgating or shining your high beams in someone's eyes and let's not forget those often used hand gestures. (Interesting to note that the Bible mentions God not being too fond of the "putting forth of the finger" in Isaiah 58:9. I guess He knew how important these finger signals would become in years to follow.) The tragedies seem to occur when these retaliatory measures are taken a step further. Then the "loss of temper" becomes "rage."

The motorist's mind that is set on retaliation opens itself up to rage. Half of the motoring irritants others impose upon us are unintentional. Thoughtless, perhaps, and discourteous, perhaps, but not deliberate attempts to ruin our day. But then we think, well, if they are going to be rude, then I will be rude too. As if someone else's stupid behavior gives us a license to be stupid, too. Or what if someone does deliberately cut you off in traffic? To teach them a lesson, let's endanger our life and theirs by cutting them off, too. The faulty reasoning seems to be that because someone else acts like a moron, we should act like morons, too.

This is not just a "road rage" phenomenon. It happens all the time in everyday life. It's that old "they did it to me, so I'll do it to them" or an "eye for an eye" way of thinking. It takes far more self-control not to lash out and retaliate, but we want revenge and we want it now. We really don't need to retaliate. Life itself has a way of getting even. Why else would phrases like "what goes around, comes around" be in our vernacular? What life doesn't take care of, God will. Romans 12:19 tells us that we should not concern ourselves with vengeance. That belongs to God!

An "eye for an eye" philosophy taken into our own hands may look good on the surface but may not give us the satisfaction we truly desire. In fact, it could leave both parties blind.

©June 2001

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bydahlgren@aol.com.