Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

Wonder What He Meant By That? Column for the week of August 29 - September 4, 2004

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We live in the age of information. Unfortunately information does not improve one’s communication skills. Companies are not just interested in what someone knows anymore. They want someone with the ability to communicate it to others. IBM employs technical writers to take complicated info and rewrite it so it doesn’t insult the intelligence of the highly educated yet can be understood by the common man. This is no small feat.

To complicate communication, people have a tendency to speak with “hidden” meanings. Here are a few examples:

What was said: “That’s interesting!”
What was meant: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today!”

What was said: “Would I lie to you?”
What was meant: “I would lie through my teeth if it suited my purpose.”

What was said: “Let’s get together for lunch.”
What was meant: “This is the only way I’m going to get rid of this guy.”

What was said: “Tell me the truth.”
What was meant: “Whatever you do, DON’T tell me the truth!”

What was said: “It really doesn’t matter.”
What was meant: “I’m terribly hurt but no one cares anyway.”

What was said: “It depends…”
What was meant: “NO!”

What was said: “We’ll see…”
What was meant: “NO!”

What was said: “I know how you feel.”
What was meant: “…but I really don’t care.”

What was said: “Trust me!”
What was meant: “I’m going to take you for all you are worth.”

What was said: “What an outfit!”
What was meant: “Ugggggglllllly!

What was said: “You can count on me!”
What was meant: “I won’t show up but this should get you off my back.”

What was said: “I was only kidding!”
What was meant: “I meant every word I said.”

What was said: “I won’t tell a soul!”
What was meant: “…until I can get to a telephone.”

And then we have the world of advertisement…

What is written: Fat free…
What is meant: … but it’s sure to make you fat because it contains lots and
lots of sugar.

What is written: Fixer upper…
What is meant: The building was condemned.

What is written: Quaint…
What is meant: It’s very, very old and moldy.

What is written: Going Out of Business Sale …
What is meant: How stupid can these people be? I’ve been having this “Going Out of Business Sale” for 50 years.

What is written: Room with a view…
What is meant: Every room has a view. Some people like looking at a brick wall.

What is written: One of a kind…
What is meant: Who would want two of them?

Many times we read into the Bible what isn’t really there because we think it has a “hidden” meaning. Some would argue that’s what Catholicism does when it takes the position on Eucharist that the bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Christ when ingested rather than symbols. Their adherence to strict interpretations has affected 8-year-old Haley Waldman. Haley suffers from celiac sprue disease which makes her body gluten intolerant. So instead of receiving a wheat wafer on her very first communion she ate a rice one. That’s a no-no, so her communion was not valid. The Vatican frowns on such bending of the rules. The same rule applies to drinking grape juice at communion instead of wine. That’s a no-no, too. Their position is that Jesus ate unleavened wheat bread and drank fermented wine at the Last Supper; therefore if a communion is to be valid, we must do the same. After all, Jesus said, “Do this in memory of me.” (Luke 22) One might ask, “I wonder what he meant by that?”

As for Haley’s mom, Elizabeth Pelly-Waldman, her goal is to change the Catholic policy. She’s written to the Vatican and hopes to get help from the Pope. Lot ’s of luck. Until then she might consider reading what Jesus said throughout the Bible. One could start by reading it and end by living it. Jesus is pretty straightforward in what he teaches. It isn’t until man tries to put in “hidden” meanings that it tends to get complicated.

What I said: “Read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live!”
What I meant: “Read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live!”

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.