Walking in the Valley A bi-weekly column, featuring one Christian's (a)musings on life's journey by Barbara Dahlgren

What Does It Mean? Column for the weeks of March 16-31, 2006

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When I received a response to an e-mail message I sent recently with the initials “LOL” in it, I became aware of how “out of the loop” I really am. At first I thought it meant “lots of love,” but that didn’t make sense because it was at the beginning of the message. So I asked myself, “What does it mean?”

After a little research I found out the “in-crowd” of the e-mail/text messaging set have these little abbreviations to save key stroke time. “LOL” means “laugh out loud.” Oh, I get it now. My friend thought I wrote something funny.

Not only are these abbreviations used for quicker typing, but people use them verbally, in every day conversations. Here’s a little chart I made so I’ll be better equipped to communicate in the future.

Whether we like it or not, slang is here to stay. Words like “bling bling,” “jiggy,” and “phat” are being added to the Oxford Dictionary. Adults can now buy Slang Flashcards for $13.95 so they can get a “grip,” get “with it,” and talk to kids without sounding like a “newb.” Being able to communicate with others is vital.

Our society has long known that changing a few words can make a huge difference in business revenue. Just last year the Casual Male Big and Tall clothing chain changed its name to Casual Male XL. It looks better on the shopping bag. A new game is out now called The Fitness Challenge which is a lot catchier than The Fat Game. Beaver College has become Arcadia University, which sounds more prestigious. This makes sense to me.

However, our politically correct climate sometimes goes to an extreme or muddies the waters of communication. Here are some prime examples.

During the Katrina catastrophe police didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying people were “looting” so they said they were engaging in the “appropriation of nonessential items from businesses.”

A group of British teachers asked for the word “fail” to be banned from classrooms. It’s now called “deferred success.”

A New Hampshire high school banned the term “freshman.” “Ninth-grader” is a more gender neutral term.

The government avoids using the word “quarantine.” They say those affected will “shelter in place.” People aren’t assassinated. They are a “targeted killing.”

Employers don’t fire you anymore. You are “deinstalled” or “selected out” and sent to “career alternative enhancement programs.”

Hospitals charge for “thermal therapy units.” We used to call them “ice packs.”

An annual Disney Company report said it wanted to expand its audience to “pre-families” as well as “post families.” What in the world does that mean? Walt must be rolling over in his grave.

This new era of communication has spilled over into the theological sector as well. We now have non-specific gender Bibles. In other words…not so many “he’s” in the references. The Dutch voted their new user friendly Bible the Book of the Year in 2005. It’s a more modern, colloquial version. Jesus is laid in a “crate” not a “manger.” “Thou shalt not steal” is “don’t steal.” Their hope is that young people brought up on text messaging might read it. But if readability is what you’re after, a British publication has distilled the original into a book you can easily finish at one sitting called the 100 Minute Bible. It’s sort of a Reader’s Digest version with around 60 pages.

Better yet, why not condense the Bible even more? Here’s a synopsis called the Bible in 50 Words:

God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained

What does it mean? I guess this, like everything else, loses impact in the abbreviated version. Some might say, ““Ess ar why but I ono.” Those who really want to find out will look into it further – just like I did when my friend sent me that “LOL” message.

Be sure to visit this page often to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.