Walking in the Valley A bi-weekly column, featuring one Silicon Valley Christian's (a)musings on life's journey by Barbara Dahlgren

Looking Back With Gratitude Column for the weeks of January 1-15, 2009

archives |

printer-friendly version

We ring in the New Year with a long list of resolutions, determined to be better and do better. We want to improve ourselves, have more money, lose weight, or enhance our relationships. Realistically, resolutions are designed to show us how dissatisfied and inadequate we really feel. What a way to “ring-a-ding-ding” in the New Year! As if we didn’t get enough of that from a media blitz barraging us with subliminal messages telling us we’re unhappy losers. After all, the successful people are thin, good looking, rich, smart, witty, drive fancy cars, eat in expensive restaurants, vacation in exotic places, and use the right toothpaste.

Why not take a different approach this year? Look back at the past year with gratitude. Maybe you didn’t get your dream job, but maybe you still have a job. Maybe you didn’t get a bigger house, but maybe you still have a house. Maybe your son dropped out of college and is living at home, but maybe he has a job and is paying you rent. Maybe your girlfriend broke up with you, but maybe she didn’t really love you. Maybe you had a major trial in your life, but maybe you developed a deeper relationship with God in the process.

Most of us spend time striving for things we think will bring us happiness and miss the joy of the journey. Happiness is not something you postpone until you get the new car, fancy house, flat screen TV, man of your dreams, and the big promotion. If you aren’t happy before you get them, chances are you won’t be happy after you get them.

Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have. Studies actually show being appreciative improves your life.

In researching for his book, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Robert Emmons and colleague Michael McCollough conducted studies on gratitude and its impact on lives. Three groups were asked to keep daily diaries. The first group wrote about the experiences they had throughout the day without being instructed to emphasize whether they were good or bad. The second group recorded only unpleasant experiences. The third group kept a gratitude journal. The results showed that the people who wrote down what they were grateful for had higher alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. They had less depression and stress.

Unfortunately, we take for granted the good things that happen in our lives instead of really appreciating them. That’s too bad, because developing this art of appreciation can change our lives for the better. We could start by looking back at last year with a positive perspective. If we continue to be grateful, 2009 is bound to be even better.

Be sure to visit this page often to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.