Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

Let’s Hear It For Mom Column for the week of May 4-10, 2003

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Orange Alert! Orange Alert! Mother’s Day is only one week away. If it were only one day away we’d have a Red Alert on our hands. But we still have time to mail that package, make that reservation, order those flowers, buy that card, or do whatever needs to be done to make it a special occasion for you know who.

Speaking as a mother, I don’t know who invented the custom of Dad and the kids bringing Mom breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day morning but it’s not what I would consider a treat. Many times it’s an unusual concoction of various food forms that are barely edible. It’s quite a tribute to Mom’s inner strength and endurance that she can eat it. Especially since all the while she nibbles she is imagining what the kitchen must look like. That alone can give you indigestion.

Then there is that proverbial day off syndrome. “Now, Mom, we don’t want you to lift a finger today. This is your day so just relax.” Easier said than done. The minute you get your feet propped up with a good book or engrossed in that old movie the questions start coming. Slow at first and then more frequent as the day wears on. “Now don’t get up, Sweetheart. Can you just tell me where we keep the carpet cleaner? There’s nothing to get alarmed about but we’ve had a little accident out here....” One of my favorite Mother’s Day cards from my kids read, “Mom, you deserve a day off!” I opened it up and it said, “You won’t get it, but you sure deserve it!”

Ah, “Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession” to quote Erma Bombeck’s book title. Sure we get blamed for every psychological disorder our kids have because we didn’t potty train them right, but hey, nobody’s perfect. And we mothers are in good company. After all, there is Mother Earth, Mother Teresa, Mother Nature, Mother of Pearl, Mother Hubbard, the Queen Mother, Mama Celeste, Mother Goose, and Mama Mia.

You know you’re a mother when:

Someone asks you where you live and you say, “In the car!”

You drive to every McDonalds in town to find the last baby beanie baby for your daughter’s collection.

You can feed a family of seven with one can of tuna fish.

You divide the last piece of cake between two children by having one cut
the cake and the other have first choice.

You kiss a boo-boo and it feels better.

When the ball is hit to your son you pray, “Please let him catch it, Lord. Please, please, please.”

You go to the bathroom just to be alone and your child stands outside the door saying, “What are you doing in there, Mom?”

Motherhood is not for wimps that’s for sure. It’s been said if men had the babies there would only be one per family. You start out with labor pains and end up with growing pains. But there is pleasure mixed with that pain and it can be well worth the effort. To be honest, Motherhood has been one of the most challenging, yet one of the most joyous parts of my life.

And now if you’ll excuse me I’ll get ready for my breakfast in bed and relaxing day off. Would someone please pass me the Pepto-Bismol and bring me a Tylenol?

Happy Mother’s Day!

©May 2003

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.