Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

Let's Hear It for the "Grads" and Dads! Column for the week of June 16-22, 2002

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Congratulations to the "Grads!" I don't think I've seen so many graduation announcements. We now have a graduation ceremony for everything. We have the graduation from pre-school to kindergarten. We have the graduation from kindergarten to first grade. We have the graduation from grade school to middle school. We have the graduation from middle school to high school. We have the graduation from high school to college. We have the graduation from college to the Masters programs. We have the graduation from the Masters to the Doctorate. I'm not sure it's healthy to have this many milestones in a person's life. It's no wonder we are a society that craves praise and recognition. But hey, I don't knock education.

Another milestone in a man's life is when he becomes a father, which we also celebrate in the month of June. But a man doesn't get a diploma when that bundle of joy arrives. Maybe that's because the learning lies ahead of him. Before a man has kids he has a lot of theories on raising them but no facts. The first time I read this quote about 25 years ago it was by some famous guy in the 17th century. It stated, "I once had 17 theories about raising children. I now have 17 children and no theories." Obviously that was before birth control. I've heard other people make that same statement over the years but the number of children becomes less and less.

Ah, fatherhood! In the good old days, Dads just went out, made the money, came back to the house for a home cooked meal, disciplined the little tykes in that "wait until your father gets home" way, did what he wanted for awhile, got a good night's sleep and started the process all over again the next day. Not so today. Many moms work outside the home, too. Dads have to help with the household chores, help with the nurturing, be loving, sensitive and caring, and be macho-manly too. It ain't easy. And all the while those little eyes are watching, imitating everything he does and repeating every word he says. Unfortunately, "children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said." Children are your spitting image. In fact "a man finds out what is really meant by a spitting image when he tries to feed cereal to his infant."

I think it's nice that fathers are included more today in the rearing and training of children. The Bible has never abdicated Dads to being just breadwinners. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 indicates that Dads are to be fully involved in raising their children. Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers not to "exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." It's true that Dads don't get a diploma when they have kids but they can get a Bible. It's chocked full of instruction on how to raise kids. Proverbs is a good place to start. Follow some of that Biblical advice and when you're sitting in that hot football field waiting for your child's name to be called when he graduates you can have a real sense of pride for something you've helped accomplish. Come on now! Let's hear it for the "Grads!" And for the Dads who helped them get there.

P.S. Here's another good quote for the Dads by Charles Wadsworth. "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." Ah, the joys of fatherhood!

©June 2002

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