Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

May God Be With Them Column for the week of November 2-8, 2003

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Fire is the big news in Southern California this week. At least 13 wildfires fueled by the Santa Ana winds devastated over half a million acres of land. Many are dead and over 2000 houses were burned down leaving a trail of homeless, bereaving people. It’s the biggest fire in the area in over a decade. Although that area has a history of out of control fires when dry conditions and the gusting winds hit (up to 50 mph), it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with the tragedy.

And it is a tragedy. It’s easy for most of us to remain detached when we hear the news. To us they are faceless, nameless people. But they do have faces, they do have names, and they have suffered loss. Many have lost all their physical possessions, everything they own, fleeing with just the clothes on their backs. Even if they could have saved something, what would it be? Who could think of what to save with that kind of pressure? One minute these people had a home, the next minute they didn’t. That’s how fast a tragedy can happen.

Tragedies change lives. Suddenly priorities and perspectives change, too. The flat tire, missed appointment, delayed flight, “D” on the report card, flu, fight with the spouse, and rude driver just don’t even begin to measure up to life and death situations. We’ve all been there in one way or another. The doorbell rings and you see police officers out the window or you answer the phone and the hospital is calling. Conversations that start with, “ I have bad news for you,” “Please sit down,” or “I don’t want to alarm you but...” can’t end well.

A couple of years ago on Christmas Eve as our family gathered together we heard sirens. We went outside to see our neighbor’s home burning to the ground. Fortunately everyone got out safe and sound but it was a tragedy. When we lived in Washington some friends of ours were not so lucky and lost two children to a raging fire. Another friend lost his 90-year-old mother to thugs who robbed, tortured, and killed her in her own home. He found the body. My stepsister, husband, and their only child were killed in a head on collision. I still remember getting the call. That sick, nauseous feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. That little tremble in your hands you try to conceal as you melt into the closest chair. Tragedy touches people we read about, touches people we know, touches us.

Tragedy causes a person to go through a cycle of disbelief, grief, and anger. Then one must decide whether he will let the tragedy get the better of him. In other words will the tragedy make him bitter or better? Some choose to blame God. After all, even if He didn’t cause it to happen he could have prevented it. Unfortunately many don’t even acknowledge God’s existence until they want to blame Him for their tragedy. The truth is that God never promised a world without pain. He did promise to walk through this world with us and help us cope with whatever comes along. And even though we cannot see Him, He stands beside us. He will hold us up and comfort us if we let Him (Matthew 11:28, Isaiah 46:4). To be honest I don’t know how people who don’t have God in their lives do cope. They are stronger than I.

In helping others cope with tragedy we can pray for them. We can detach less and actually feel more when we hear of the misfortune of others. As Paul said, “weeping with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15) We can learn to care. Some tragedies may be happening to someone else, but they could just as easily be happening to us. My heart goes out to those who lost homes and loved ones in this fire. May God be with them!

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.