Walking in the Valley A bi-weekly column, featuring one Silicon Valley Christian's (a)musings on life's journey by Barbara Dahlgren

Is God Your Valentine? Column for the weeks of February 1-15, 2009

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Ask anyone what Valentine’s Day is all about and they will surely answer, “Love!” Ask them what love is all about and you may have dead silence. Young lovers think love is that tingling sensation they feel when hands touch and lips meet. Older married couples may think it’s about survival and sticking it out until the end. If both age groups were shooting arrows toward a heart bull’s eye, they would both miss the mark.

A young co-worker of mine had a dilemma. He felt he was “in love” with two women because he was sexually attracted to both. Realizing my husband and I had been married for almost forty years he asked me if we still had the “hots” for each other. “You know,” he said. “Do you still really love each other?” I told him we have our moments. Just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there’s no fire in the furnace. Naturally, I seized the opportunity to explain the difference between having the “hots” for someone and love. Of course I would never advise one to marry without sexual attraction, but those who’ve been married a long time know sexual attraction is at the shallow end of the love pool. Real love is deeper than that. We won’t all be blonde and beautiful the rest of our lives.

Love is best illustrated in 1 Corinthians 13. Called the “love” chapter, it gives the best overview of true love. True love (agape) is selfless, longsuffering, kind, and free of jealousy, envy and pride. Love protects, trusts, hopes and preserves. It triumphs over adversity. A Clint Black song translates love into modern language for couples pondering what love really is: love isn’t something you have, somewhere you fall, something you find, or just words you say – it’s something that you do! True love lays down its life for another. (John 10:18, John 15:13, 1 John 3:16)

The prime example of this is God. He loved us so much he gave his son (John 3:16, 17) who died for us while we were yet sinners. His motive was love. He didn’t have a guarantee we would love him in return. In fact many reviled him for this act of love even though there is no greater love than laying down your life for someone. God loves us that much. You might say we are his valentine. Which poses the question – is God our valentine?

There is nothing wrong in having a candlelit dinner or buying candy, flowers, or a sentimental card for someone you’re attracted to. A surviving marriage deserves a little celebration as well. However, let’s not forget that true love requires a bigger sacrifice. Let God be your valentine. He’s already proven that you are his!

Be sure to visit this page often to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.