Walking in the Valley A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley by Barbara Dahlgren

A Picture Is Worth 3000 New Words Column for the weeks of March 21-April 3, 2004

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3000 new words will be in the latest edition of the Oxford Dictionary of English. Not new to us, perhaps, but words that were not there before. Words like, Muppets, 24/7, bada bing, reality TV, ground zero, geek, google, blonde moment, muggles, and bad hair day, to name a few. Just as new words are invented, old words can shift meanings. Awful used to mean inspiring awe. Neck used to mean a parcel of land. Today some use the word “bad” but it actually means “good.” And the word gay used to mean happy.

I tend to get the whole gay, lesbian, and homosexual thing mixed up. I don’t mean this disrespectfully. I just mean it’s a bit confusing to me. As I understand it, lesbians are female homosexuals and gays are male homosexuals, therefore a homosexual can be either gay or lesbian, male or female. However, gays can also be either gender. Is that right? In some contexts even the term "gay" is outdated. The new term is "LGBT," which stands for "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual."

Today, the big desire in the gay community (gay, I think meaning those who have a sexual desire for the same sex) is to marry. As one cartoon said, “Haven’t they suffered enough?” The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that this would be okay in their state. Not to be outdone by the East, San Francisco’s new mayor, Gavin Newsom, decided it would be okay in San Fran too. He decided to just skip the process of going through proper channels to change the law. California’s Proposition 22 says that marriage is for a man and a woman but Newsom had no problem issuing marriage licenses for same-sex couples. Thousands of them! The question seems to be, “Can public officials like mayors just pick and choose which laws they want to obey?” Evidently Newsom thinks so.

But herein lies another changing definition. Marriage is the union of a man and woman, husband and wife. That may not be the case when the next dictionary is comes out. The nation is divided over whether same sex marriages should be allowed. Although, the majority feels it should not be allowed, many areas permit gay couples to have the same benefits of marriage. In fact I know of one company who gives health benefits to same sex partners but won’t give them to heterosexual couples that aren’t married. Society has already accepted same sex couples raising children. Two consenting adult males can adopt a baby girl. With that being the case, why can’t they be married? It really is just a matter of time. However, that doesn’t mean breaking the law and having double standards should rush the process.

And speaking of double standards, just last year New York opened the nation’s first (LGBTQ) public school. Am I opposed to such a school? Not necessarily. But I’m opposed to tax dollars being spent for it. Should we have public schools for just immigrants? Hispanics? Blacks? Oops! That would be discrimination, wouldn’t it? I thought public education was designed to bring diverse groups together, not separate them. How about a Christian public school? How far do you think we would get with that proposal? We are a nation froth with double standards. We don’t permit a monument to the 10 Commandments in a courthouse where people have to swear on a Bible to tell the truth.

Legalizing gay marriage will alter the definition of marriage, as we know it. Laws are like drawing a line in the sand. We say, “Okay, you can come right up to this line but once you step over it, you’ve broken the law.” If same sex marriage is legal, then why not polygamy or polyamory? What about marriage with an adult and a child? The lines keep moving. The definitions keep changing.

How should a Christian view gay marriage? Nature itself shows us the design of a man and woman is such that they fit together. A man and a woman can literally have a baby that is the product of both of them. Same sex couples can’t do that. God ordained marriage as a divine institution between one man and one woman. (Genesis 2:23-25; Matthew 19:4,5; Mark 10:5-7; Hebrews 13:4) Unfortunately, Christians have done a poor job in showing communities what happy marriages look like. The break down of the family unit occurred way before the onslaught of homosexual relationships. With divorce rates higher than ever (among Christians and non-Christians alike) and society saying fathers and mothers aren’t necessary in rearing children, no wonder people place little value on the union of a man and a woman.

What should a Christian do? Some Christians choose to join the political arena, fighting to save marriage, as we know it. They feel they are fighting a good fight for a good cause, but if they aren’t modeling happy, solid, God centered marriages no one will listen to what they have to say. All Christians should paint a pretty picture of what God intended marriage and family to be. It would be worth more than 3000 new words.

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.